Okays, thats it. Jovin had gone to hubby's friend's house this morning. And yes, I cried in the cab when we were on the way tp SengKang. I miss Jovin right now. Miss her coming up to me to stroke her belly & miss her waiting at the door when I reach home. But I know she'll be happy with the new family. They have children and the house is bigger than mine.

I din know that teaching toddlers or small children can be a chore. Teaching reading and phonics had been a regular basis now since I started working at this enrichment hub.
Toddlers, playgroups and pre-nursery. Parents went in, sat down and stare at us. Hopping around, dancing around like a clown. Singing those nursery songs and seeing children doing the colouring on the worksheets.
It was joyful, I gon admit. But I cant stand parents who stare and doubt what we are doing. Like, "They are still small leh, you sure they understand what is occupation?", or "My child cannot stay with this blah blah blah." Complaints and complaints.

My boss asked if I wanna join their child care and be a full time pre-school teacher after I graduate. LOL. I think Im gon die from heart attack if I ever gon be a pre-school teacher. HAHA. But, I will consider bout it. Hubby said ever since I work at this child care centre, my temper and attitude turn for the better. HAHA. =))

Been a week since grandma passed away. Time passed so fast. Mummy said grandma did come back to visit us on the 7th day. Scared the wits out of siblings and I. Actually, on the 7th day, all of us did not dare to sleep. I thought I heard noise coming from the kitchen. LOL. Damn scary, but afterall, grandma is still my grandma. HAHA.

Yesterday was our another month anniversary.
HAPPY BELATED 16TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY, HUBBY!
Had dinner at Soup Restaurant, movie afterwhich.

Im pretty upset these few days.. Im putting my precious baby up for adoption. As my grandma had just passed away, my grandpa will be coming over and stay hence dogs are not allowed. Hubby's friend agreed to adopt Jovin and so.. Jovin will be going over in a few days' time.
I think Im gon cry like shit man. =((

Been awhile since I last blog. Too many things had happened these few days.
New term had started and Im almost barred from exams. School had been a bitch especially with a strict lecturer who "offered" to mark our attendance herself. As for the other module, Principles of Biz Management 2, it is like almost the same as the previous module. So it will be easy if Im studying hard enough for the coming class test and exam. Principles of Econs sucks big time. Totally cant understand a shit of what that lecturer is talking bout.

Work was fine. I love my work, the children and my job. Apart of teaching lil children, I adore their accompany. Some were sweet thou, but some just so spoilt. LOL. Parents are nice but some are nasty. Life just come this way, we tend to meet alot of different people in different job line.

Hubby and I are still as sweet too. Thou the previous entry made us sound like we are breaking apart and having stains in our relationship, we are still as happy as before.
Actually, hubby really treat me well. But I always take him as granted. So I promise hubby I'll be a good wife and love him very very much. LOL.
By the way, hubby dropped his cellphone in a cab when we were back home. LOL. He was very sad cause he used it less than a week. Poor hubby. Always drop my celly or his celly. HAHA.

As for my life, my grandma passed away yesterday morning at o947am. She had fallen victim to cancer. I always loved my grandma but I truely regret for not able to visit her the day before her death. I was planning to but my lil cousin called and ask me to go find her. As my grandma was discharged on that day, I thought she will be fine and healthy thou she was suffering for the last stage of cancer. I even intend to visit her after my school yesterday. But I din even get a chance to see her.
When she was hospitalised, I only visited her a few times cause I was working in the night. She merely talked to me as she will feel breathless. I felt so heartpain when I saw all the needles and tube going through her body and there were so many bruises as she was too skinny and the doctors are unable to find the veins.
I think my grandma knows she is going to leave us soon. She insisted on discharging even thou she was feeling so terrible. I rushed back from school when I just reached school about 5mins when I recieved the news from my mother. But my grandma din wait for me to see her for the last time.
I miss her calling me every saturday to ask me for mahjong session with her and my other aunts. I miss her telling me to get marry with hubby so she can carry great-grand children. I miss her cooking for us for every occasions. I miss her telling me to call hubby to come down for mahjong session. I miss her using my celly and chat with hubby. I miss her hugging me whenever I go back home after visiting her at her house. I miss her having breakfast with us every weekend morning and having supper every now and then.
Im proud to have my grandma. She is very talented. She always sewn clothes for my cousins, my siblings and myself. She always know how to cook nice food and coming up with new dishes.
But right now, I know I have to be strong. I know my grandma chose to leave us. She scared she will be a burden to us when we don't even think she is. She left us peacefully with no pain in her face. In fact, I think grandma will be better off this way. She won't have to take jabs anymore, take so much medicine anymore or having to go in and out hospital all the time. My lil cousin said she saw my grandma when we covered her with a cloth. She said grandma looked the same as before when she don't have cancer. Beautiful and healthy. Children had no need to lie so I believe my cousin.
I know grandma is happy right now and she had rest in peace.

It is not how contented Im.. but how long you can tolerate me.
The problem lies on how demanding and over-demanding Im starting to be, ya?

Once a relationship gets longer and to a higher peak, it is understandable that one will look for a higher standard on his/her partner. Am I wrong to pursue a perfect relationship?
Yes, I know. Nobody is perfect.. Nothing is perfect in fact.
What do you mean by now you have a car, and I will want a tank in future? For what I ask for a tank?
I didnt say you are useless. Im so tired of explaining and explain again.

Speaking of perfect..
Who was there to help me when Im being criticized and insulted by people who know we are together? In terms of qualifications, in terms of family background and so many other things. But still, I walked through all these insults just to be with you. I accepted what other people think of me and said bout me.
Qualifications. I know Im not good in studies. No matter how much I hate to study, I still went to take up course just for the sake of you.
I changed almost everything for you. Because of you, I lost alot of my friends. Because of you, I dont even know what has came to myself.
All these 1 year 3 months, we endured and pressurized ourselves even thou we know we truely love each other so much.
All I wanted is just to be a little more fortunate than others and make up for all the endurement I had put up with.

Im heartbroken as well. Not that you are a cloth with a stain and be thrown away when it cant be washed. It is not that.
One day you'll realise actually Im dragging you down and be your burden.